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Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non- sexual.Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?”Step Three: Identity Tolerance.In this stage, a person might begin to accept identifying as gay, lesbian or transgendered or bisexual. Some might come to terms with some parts of being a gay, but not fully embrace it. One might accept participating in sexual activity with woman and consider it okay, but may not be ready to identity as lesbian or bisexual for example, in public- thus, leading a ‘double life.’ Or a man may come to accept that. " "Jaye, I saw you dancing. I know what he was doing to you at the table -- everyone there did! And I saw you on the picnic table. (She gasped) On top of that you had no panties on when you got back. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's all right with me if you have an adventure or even an affair while we are here. However, I expect you to return the trust by telling me the truth, not lying to me. Lying is cheating. Is that what you are doing?" "No, no B! I'm sorry. It's all so new to me. I was embarrassed, ashamed at what I had done, and unsure of how you would take it. (She looked me straight in the eye) Even though you had told me I could. And I didn't want to say anything in front of Sheila and Paul!" "Big deal! First, they know all about it, second, what you are up to is tame stuff compared to what they do!" She was visibly upset. "Do you want me to quit?" "Do you want to?" She hung her head, "I will if you want me to" "I take that as a 'No' -- you don't want to quit..
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